Argh! The Perfect World Has No Hangovers

Alan Garner

Even though the suggestions for the 3 most awesome hangover cures here may seem like they come from Zach Galifianakis’ character Alan Garner.  I’m trying to suggest stuff that isn’t conventional but has been tried and tested and working for me.  

I am Australian so I don’t mind drowning myself in rum and having a big night on the town.  However, the good old days of bouncing back from a night on the turps when I was 18 are long gone.  I’m sick of hearing the whole drink water, breathe deeply and control the liquor while your drinking rants.  I’ve tried all that.  Yes it does work, sometimes.  But c’mon.  

They’re aren’t too many times when someone does what’s right and still you get far too carried away with the night before.  The last thing you want to do is drink water.  Breathing deeply hurts.  And by the time you’re sick the next day, you already regret drinking too much.  So with no further ado, here we go!!!

 

1.  Pure Oxygen

I went to advance resuscitation course once when I was an auxiliary firefighter.  It was a two day course over a weekend and on the Sunday a fellow firie come in clearly hurting from stage 4 drinking after effects.  I felt sorry for the bloke since I felt hungover looking at him.  Everybody else could also sense the living dead’s presence in the room including the instructor who seemed amused at his suffering.  But being a responsible member of the emergency services, the instructor felt compelled to help his fellow man in need.  

The remedy?  Oxygen in its purest form.  Again this is probably going to be a bit difficult to get your hands on but being a fireman is one way to access this hangover cure.  I think once upon a time there were rumors businesses were actually catering for the drunk and hungover offering pure oxygen rooms in shops but I’ve never seen one.  Haha, you could imagine the wolf-pack in one of these.

 

2.  Waterskiing

Why is this included in the top three?  Because it is the only Waterskiingthing that truly works while being fun.  It’s the quickest, best and most effective.  However, it is a little hard to organize.  The only problem is that not too many people have the convenience of a boat, a waterski, a driver and observer, a lake or the ocean.  I’m lucky because I do.  Let’s break it down though.  A hangover and dehydration walk hand in hand.  Just don’t stack it, it hurts and increases the intensity of the headache.

 

 

 

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 3.  Go to Work

“What???  Yeah good one.”  And I know why you say that.  For a start Alan Garner doesn’t have a job so what would he know right?  Secondly, you go to work all week and have beers Friday night for that reason, time off.  So why go to work Saturday just to get rid of a hangover?  Because you remember now, don’t you?  

You’ve done it before!  You’ve felt pretty good by 10am considering when you woke up at 6am that morning to be at work by 7am, you felt like a beat-up red-haired step-child.  This one is my best friend’s favorite cures out of the aforementioned so far.  No need to find water, or a boat for that matter, for waterskiing.  No need to steal oxygen cylinders of the emergency services.  This one works, is readily accessible, plus you get paid.  

So no matter how blind you know you’re going to get Friday night up town, put your name down for overtime Saturday.  It’s going to suck for the first hour after waking up but I tell you what, that hangover is going to disappear.  Just don’t binge drink that Saturday night again because there’s not much on Sunday you can do to get rid of that hangover.

DEFCON Ones, we call them.

 

Working on a banana farm

I grew up and worked on banana farms. Nothing sweats the alcohol out better!

 

 Why are we taking advice from Alan Garner?

Because those guys have fun.  And fun is what it’s all about.  So those were my top three best hangover cures, seriously. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, what did you think?  Do tell if you have a random suggestion for hangovers that can cure our pain!  Please add to our top three best hangover cures.  And if you have any questions or queries, leave them below.

Thanks MCM’s Rohan.

 

 




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